Why I Left Xev's LoyalFans Page

I gave the idea of making this post on my blog a lot of thought – two days’ worth of thought, actually – and had just about decided not to make it when the exchange with fools last Sunday evening changed my mind.  (Unfortunately, the original poster has since removed the post and the thread which contained the exchange I’m referring to.)  So if you want to get pissed at anyone for this entry, get pissed at fools because he’s the one who made my mind up for me on whether or not to make it.  I was going to just fade away quietly into the night, but he changed my mind for me.

And I really don’t care if you’re pissed at me anyway, because that’s just your opinion – and that plus a buck seventy-five will get you a cup of coffee at 7-11.

Like it or not, agree with it or not, thanks to a select group of subscribers that I call “The Chosen Few” (they call themselves “SIPs” which stands for “Sexually Intellectual Perverts”) Xev’s LoyalFans page is not the land of unicorns, rainbows, sunshine and flowers that the “SIPs” want you to think it is.  (For the sake of accuracy and not to unfairly characterize and/or slander some of the better members there who also consider themselves to be a “SIP,” the ones I’m going to be referring to are subdude, fools, cdahmed {or whatever the fuck his name is; I’ll just call him ‘cd’}, a pissant little troll who calls himself George and, on occasion, woozer and I Am Rael.)  subdude will tell you that they are all non-judgemental and that everyone’s opinion is welcome there, but in actuality nothing could be further from the truth.  If you DARE say ANYTHING derogatory or of a negative nature about Xev or her work, then you’re going to immediately find yourself the subject of a dogpile of rabid “SIPs.”  (Unless you’re a “SIP,” of course.)  When I first joined LF in March of 2020 Xev had just released “Stuck Inside With Mommy.”  I watched the video and was totally unimpressed, but being the new kid on the block I kept my mouth shut while all of the “SIPs” were singing the praises of the video.  A short while later Xev released “My Little Shrunk Slut,” and by that time I felt that I had interacted enough with the members there to voice my opinion on the video.  I said that I liked it, and – this is the exact phrase that I used – “after the disappointment that was ‘SIWM’” this latest video was good.

My God in heaven, you’d think I had called the pope a homosexual!  I was blasted from all sides for being rude, insolent, disrespectful – you name it, I was called it.  Still trying to get along with what I would later learn was the unofficial and self-appointed ruling class of the page I removed the offending statement and was immediately complimented for doing it by one of the non-rabid “SIPs” who had not participated in the dogpile.  Those who had participated said nothing.  If I had known then what I know now, I’d have left it there.  But I was still a newcomer to the page and was still trying to get along, so I did what I thought would be best and edited my comment.

Things went pretty good for the next year or so, but then I did something that the self-appointed leader of “The Chosen Few,” subdude, found offensive and was immediately and rudely called out for it.  Xev posted a picture on her page, and I copied it and posted it to a subreddit dedicated to her with the intent of sharing her beauty with the rest of the internet.  subdude immediately called me out for it, even though Xev herself posted the exact same picture on her subreddit two hours later. subdude made a post that he started off with the “disclaimer” of “TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN” and then claimed that since the member in question had posted the picture on another site and people there could download it for free, that person was depriving Xev of income and was in fact stealing money from her, and was therefore a thief.  Of course, when I spoke up and said that I was the one who did it and said that I didn’t appreciate being called a thief especially when Xev herself posted the same picture, he said he never called ME a thief because he started out his post by saying ‘TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.’  He seemed to think that by using that phrase he was innocent and blameless of any wrongdoing, and of course he’s right – in his own mind, anyway.  But I did what I thought was right anyway and took the picture down, telling all that I had done that – and got NO acknowledgement for it at all.

Seems that the SIPs are quick to accuse and condemn and VERY slow to forgive and admit their own errors.  (Are your ears burning, fools?  Because they should be.) 

This caused me to look at the environment on Xev’s page differently, from a different perspective, and I didn’t like what I saw.  What I saw was a subscriber who thinks that because he’s been there since the place was Nexocams and because he’s VERY tight with Xev that he’s free to do and say whatever he wants, going so far as trying to establish rules for the page as to what can be posted and how.  Of course he denies this, saying that he’s only “making suggestions” or voicing his opinion, but that’s bullshit and I know it.  He has surrounded himself with followers who are of like mind and proudly proclaim themselves to be “SIPs,” following his lead without question or hesitation.  Unfortunately for all of us non-SIPs he is such close personal friends with Xev that she allows him to get away with this. 

Now let me tell you the good stuff about subdude, because there most certainly is some.

He’s a walking encyclopedia of all things Xev Bellringer.  Got a question about one of Xev’s videos?  He’s the one to ask.  He is the one who makes the Xevies possible, and in Xev’s own words his assistance is “invaluable.”  I’ll go you one better than that – without subdude’s efforts there wouldn’t be a Xevies at all.  I’m thankful for his efforts in that aspect, and have no problem in stating that publicly.  But IMHO the negative aspects of his character and behavior far outweigh the positive ones.

As far as the page itself goes, the atmosphere there is, to me, inhospitable and downright toxic.  The “SIPs” will tell you that they’re open, accepting, non-judgemental and have no problem conversing with other members and will gladly include them in their conversations, but the truth is that if you’re not a part of their select little group they have little to no interest in what you have to say.  I’ve tried joining some of their conversations that interested me in the course of the past year and met with limited results, thanks largely in part to the accusation of theft leveled at me by subdude.  I’ve tried to start conversations several times only to be roundly ignored by 99% of the “SIPs,” with only one or two posting a reply.  Others who are fairly new to the page or who recognize what’s going on as I do will reply, but as for “The Chosen Few” joining in – forget it.  For the most part they won’t say anything unless it’s to point out an error or to criticize you for daring to have a differing opinion than that of the “SIPs.” 

What you have now is a page being controlled by a select group of subscribers who are buddy-buddy with each other, and refuse to admit any newcomers to their select little group.  Why, I have no idea, but if you think I’m wrong then do this – go back over the threads and see who slaps a ‘like’ or a ‘love’ on the posts made there.  What you’re going to see depends entirely on who made the post.  Take a look at who ‘likes’ the posts made by subdude or fools or any of the “SIPs” – you’re gonna see the same group of names on every post, all of them “SIPs” with a few non-SIPs included. 

Now go back and take a look at the posts that I have made.  Every now and then you’ll see a ‘like’ by subdude, maybe one every fifth Sunday in February from fools, but you’ll NEVER see one from cd.  (Don’t get me started on him.)  And all that useless little troll George has ever done is make rude and insulting comments, little pissant that he is.  What you will see is a bunch of ‘likes’ and ‘loves’ by others who aren’t members of “The Chosen Few,” but for the most part none of the “SIPs” names will be there. 

You see, I’m the outlaw from the group.  I’m the one who dared criticize one of Xev’s videos.  I’m the one who was insolent enough to stand up to subdude and the other SIPs and tell them they were wrong.  And for that I’ve been ostracized, criticized unjustly, and insulted.

So be it.  I’ve been an outlaw before, and have no problem with it.  I’d rather stand up for what I believe and stand alone than to ignore what I believe to have others of lesser character and class (fools) standing next to me.

Right now I’m sure there are lots of people thinking to themselves, “Well, he’s just mad because he doesn’t fit in” or “he’s just mad because he’s not one of the group.”  If that’s what you want to think, fine, go right ahead – you’re entitled to your opinion, and I’ll never tell you otherwise.

But I will tell you this:  you’re wrong.  Dead wrong.  All my life I have despised ‘cliques’ and secret, select little groups that stand around and talk bad about others, snickering and sniggering at them because they aren’t ‘cool’ or they ‘don’t fit in.’  I have a very low opinion of people like this, and the LAST thing I want is to be a part of any kind of group like that.  I try very hard not to look down on people simply because I may disagree with them; most of the time I’m successful, but every now and then I fuck it up.  I’m human, after all, and everyone makes mistakes.  But when I realize that I’ve fucked it up, I’ll apologize for it because that’s the right thing to do.  Contrary to what some on the page might want to believe or have you believe, I have no problem admitting when I make a mistake. 

I had been considering not renewing my subscription since April of last year and had just about put that thought aside, choosing instead to stick around and wait for Xev to be able to return to the page as often as she did before the big move.  But things have been degenerating for the past three months, and I once again found myself seriously considering cancelling my subscription because the bullshit was getting to be too much.  The exchange last Friday had pretty much made my mind up for me, and the now-deleted exchange Sunday evening solidified my decision for me.  Even though the cost of a subscription is very minor, no amount of money is worth submitting myself to the rejection, isolation, insults and hypocrisy now taking place on the page.  I refuse to subject myself to this kind of shit no matter how small the fee.  I’m not going to pay to be insulted and mistreated by others.  Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

“So why not just stop posting and not say anything at all?” you may be asking yourself right now.  To be brutally honest, if Xev were posting on a regular basis I’d do just that, but her personal life is so busy and chaotic right now that it’s impossible for her to do that.  So there’s no reason for me to stick around.  Once her personal life settles down and she’s able to drop in and chat with us like she was doing before she moved in June and is able to post pics and videos on a regular basis again, I’ll be back.  Count on it.  After all, that’s why I subscribed to her page to begin with, to interact with her and support her endeavors.  But while I’m canceling my LoyalFans subscription I am maintaining my XUL subscription, so I’ll still be supporting her work.

So thanks to subdude’s thinly veiled jab Friday at my posting of daily pics (whether he wants to admit to it or not, which I’m sure he won’t) and his accusation that I’m just looking for things to be insulted by, combined with fools’ comments of Sunday evening where he once again called me “angry” and “short tempered” while agreeing with what subdude said and while also refusing to admit his own flaws, I have decided not to renew my subscription to Xev’s page when it expires on August 2nd.  Life is just too fuckin’ short to have to deal with bullshit like this, and I refuse to subject myself to the childish antics of a bunch of immature, self-important clowns.  I have enough drama and bullshit to deal with in my real life, I sure as shit don’t need any more online.

The bad part is that this will deprive Xev of the income garnered by my subscription, and I’m truly sorry about that.  I’m just tired of the bullshit, and have reached my tolerance level.  Now it’s time for me to do what’s best for me, and what’s best for me is to remove myself from the toxic environment that Xev’s page has turned into.

And what that also means, using subdude’s “logic” of last year when I posted that picture on reddit, is that because their actions caused Xev to lose the income generated by my subscription, subdude and fools have STOLEN money from her.

Which makes both of them a THIEF.

To those of you who were good enough to accept me as I am and offered me your friendship, I thank you and apologize for having to leave you. I’ll still be on LF as I’m maintaining my subscription on Princess Leia’s page, so I’ll still be available via DM.  Please keep in touch!

To Xev, please know that I love you dearly, and I always will.  You are a true gem of a person and a beautiful lady, and the world is a better place simply because you’re in it.  You have brought me much joy and happiness in the short two and a half years after I found you, and for that I am sincerely grateful and forever in your debt.  I wish you nothing but love, laughter, and happiness; you certainly deserve nothing less.  If I have said or done anything that has hurt your feelings or insulted you in this posting or any other posting I have made, please accept my most heartfelt apology for that was surely not my intent. 

As for “The Chosen Few,” well, y’all can just kiss my ass.  Now you can go off in your own little group and talk bad about me behind my back like the bunch of spineless little bitches you really are.  I really don’t give a fuck, and that’s the truth.

THIS is what it looks like when I’m angry, by the way.  And you can bet your sweet ass that I’m angry.

But I’ll get over it.  I always do.  After all, life goes on, doesn’t it?

Oh, yeah, one more thing….