And So It Ends...Again

 If you're a long time reader of my blog, then you know that I'm a huge Xev Bellringer fan and was a subscriber to her page for several years until the environment there turned toxic thanks to a select group of cretins who call themselves "SIPs."  You also know that two years ago I left the page, explaining why right here in my blog.  While I stopped my subscription I remained a follower, which let me know whenever she posted a new video so I could go buy it.  (That's right, buy it.  My video pirate days are waaaaaaaay behind me.)  

Over the past two years I noticed that the frequency of her posting new videos was decreasing, the time gap between the posting of videos becoming longer and longer.  True, the videos were of excellent quality - the best I've ever seen - but it was taking literally months for her to get the video done, edited, and released.  Her posting on LoyalFans and XUL began dropping off as well, and then she just disappeared entirely.  The last post she made on LoyalFans was on April 19 of this year, with her last update on XUL being on May 5.  

After that, nothing.  Not a post, not a video, not a short note, nothing.  She literally vanished from the internet without a trace.  I wanted to stay abreast of what was going on with her, so without anyone knowing about it I renewed my subscription to her page in June, having decided to do nothing but watch and listen for 2 months.  If she hadn't made an appearance by August 18th I was going to stop my subscription and just give up on her.

What I saw while I was lurking was that absolutely nothing on the page had changed. The same self-entitled groups of cretins were still running the show, and the environment was just as toxic now as it was two years ago when I left.  

Xev stayed gone until the end of July when she made a post in which she basically said that she had been undergoing a series of 'personal revelations' and was re-evaluating her life.  She also said she'd post more later because she was busy cooking dinner.  A short while later she posted again saying that she was re-evaluating her life, and the next day she said pretty much the same thing again.  In short, she didn't tell us a hell of a lot, and while I suppose that's her prerogative what I thought she was ignoring was the fact that she was a service provider, that her subscribers were paying for her services (namely, porn videos and the chance to chat with her), and that by disappearing she failed to uphold her end of the bargain.  She was taking everyone's money but providing nothing in return, and that's not right.  

And the atmosphere on the page had evolved into such an idol worshipping atmosphere that no one said anything about that - at first.  One of her longtime fans and subscribers put up a post in which he addressed this, but he took it down after just a few hours because he felt guilty about having 'offended' her.  He then made a post in which he pretty much groveled at Xev's feet, begging her forgiveness for offending her.

A few days after that she posted on XUL, saying that "I am not currently prepared to film again, but that may change at some point."  She also posted ten nude pics of her just waking up in the morning, but that's as close as she's come to anything erotic or the subject of whether or not she's going to resume her porn career.  In the mean time she was chatting with her subscribers about this mental journey she's on, talking about self-awareness and out of body experiences and a whole lot of other stuff that is so far beyond my comprehension that I can't explain it.  This conversation went on for days, but still nothing about her porn career, and when I asked about it I was roundly ignored.

August 18 came and went with nothing more from Xev on what we should expect from her, so just as I planned I stopped my subscription and am no longer privvy to what's going on with her page.  I've said all along that I thought Xev was finished doing porn, and all indications are that I'm right.  And trust me when I say that I really hate being right about this.  I'm still a follower on her page so if she ever posts a video again I'll know about it, but I'm not going to pay a cent for the privilege of being a subscriber to her page.  I love her to death and always will, but I do NOT idol worship her like many of her subscribers do - most of them, actually.

And so it ends once more.  Xev, if you ever read this please know that I've loved you for mor than 4 years and always will no matter what, and that I truly hope that you find the happiness and the peace of mind that you're seeking.  You're a wonderful person and always will be, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

Take care, m'dear.